half way

Today is the start of all of the things good I've been wanting for myself, but haven't had the courage to do. It has been a hard parade. It is time for me to be courageous.
My 24th year took me to personal depths I had never expected, but ones I needed to explore. It was heart-breaking, lonely, exhausting, difficult, beautiful and rewarding all at the same time. I allowed all of the relationships in my life to exist as they were meant to which allowed me to find so much more value in the ones I had previously neglected. Those are the ones that carried me through.
I never thought that I would be sitting just where I am, but the best part is, that it's exactly where I want to be right now. I'm working harder than I ever have, but am proud of it daily. I'm living in my own little nook in the world that is an external reflection of how I want to feel on the inside. Simple, bold, strong, comfortable, confident. I'm surrounded by people that have watched me grow in so many ways. That have always been there and I know will continue to be. And I'm getting my mind back so I can give myself what I need most.
You know this twenty-something business is so much harder than I ever, ever imagined it to be. Shoved into the real world only to find out that everything you've been told or thought just isn't so and you've got to figure it out from here.
Your whole life you are constantly passing mile stones. Every summer you move on the next school year. You lose teeth and gain inches. You get smarter and stronger. You achieve.
You graduate college and it feels like you fell off a cliff.
And you did.
But, see, here's the thing I just found out, life after college and as a twenty-something is going to be this ridiculous hardship as you climb up the side of this mountain to the rest of your life. Each inch up, as slow and pain staking as it may be, is taking us to this place of, "oh, okay, this is where I was supposed to end up." And the best part is, we're doing it on our own. Sure there are people cheering you along from below, from above, even next to you. And there's also people doubting you waiting for you to miss a step, but those people should make you want to do it more.
Half-way up, I've learned that no one's going to do it for you. No one can show you how anymore.
And I kind of like it better that way.