truth.

Sometimes when I read a book, I honestly get pissed at how simple it is. "Oh, really, that's ALL it takes," is what rolls through my head as I finish the last page, close the book and make its new home on the shelf.
I told you I got the new Augusten Burroughs book and that I was conflicted about devouring or savoring it. I did both. I started it with heavy eye lids in bed one night until they weighed a million pounds. On my next day off, I took it to the pool and knocked out most of it in an afternoon floating in the pool. And then, it was almost done and I wasn't ready for it so it sat there teasing me for a few days. I finished it this morning on my patio.
It was so simple even though it was about some of the most difficult topics in life. As I was reading it, I wasn't pissed at the simplicity of it all, more so that no one in my life had ever had the balls to be so honest about the subject matter. It's just like hey, this is life, some of it is really hard and it sucks, but if you don't get over that, you're not living. Thank you.
So, as I hoped, it has inspired me, maybe not entirely to write (although here I am literally moments after it joined the family on the shelf), but to just get over it and move on. If you want more for yourself, get over yourself and do it.
I mean, the title isn't deceptive, it is very much a self-help book, but one that is easy to digest because it's just like "hey, no, for real though, this is real talk about (insert subject here that you're scared to have real talk about)"
So yeah, that's all it takes. He doesn't have any professional credentials to give advice or state the facts, just life experiences and tons of it. Been there, done that, here's how I survived.
It just got real, y'all. Stop talking about it, do something about it. Message received. Maybe it's been delivered before, but I wasn't ready to hear it? Got it. Loud and clear.

+/-.

So, here's a fun fact you probably already know, I get really obsessed with things.
I have been known to listen to the same song on repeat for hours, I mean, HOURS. How the friends I've lived with dealt with that, I'm really not sure. Cause they're friends, right?
I can watch a movie I love over and over again and notice something new and fall in love with it even more. And, tv shows? I mean, work and responsibilities are just getting in the way of the next episode really.
I will google, YouTube, twitter and Facebook stalk the shit out of everyone involved. And, have often caught myself taking on traits of the show. Mad men: red lipstick, manhattans and chain smoking.
True blood: I had an unusually drawn out southern accent for a minute.
Parks and Rec: I would look at you in awkward situations like Tom Haverford.
Weeds: totally channeling Nancy Botwin through an obsession with iced coffee that never really ended among, ahem, other things.
Glee: I've been dancing and singing even more obnoxiously at work.
Strangers with Candy: I would say completely ridiculous/crude things without a second thought. (Jerri Blank gave birth to the Bacon Strips though. Still sizzlin' btw.)
Six Feet Under: biggest obsession of all time. Completely emotionally involved with this show. I literally experienced grief. Probably one of the most inspirational experiences of my life though, seriously.
Music, movies, shows, hell, even my favorite writers make their way into who I am. You know when I'm reading David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs if you read anything I write at the time.
The other day at work, I admitted to my love of glee like a confessional in the backroom to my co-worker and she said, " you're always obsessed with something." I brushed it off in the moment, mostly because I wanted to talk about Glee, but it's just kept replaying in my mind because it's really true.
Obsessed doesn't usually have the best connotation. You know, it's usually attached to something unhealthy. And, to a certain extent that is true. I get so wrapped up in intangible things and kind of make myself detach a little bit from my reality.
However, someone else told me she loves how passionate I am about the things I love. Now, that's got a much better spin to it? And, I think she's right, too. I am passionate about the things I care about- the people in my life just as much as what might be on the tv. I'm motivated and inspired by so many different things, and I'm not going to let my current obsession not become at least a part of what's becoming of me or something in my life.
But, here's the thing, the very definition of obsess is preoccupy. Ding! Ding! I'm working through my crazy here, k. I have always used something that I love as a way to distract myself from things going on in my life. Now, I can allow myself the fact that I do deal with shit. I process most things eventually and often times I want to immediately, but I think I'm preoccupying myself right now because I'm always peering so far down the road to what I know is just going to be so much better than where I am right now. You know? I'm distracting myself in the present because what's in the present isn't what I really, really want. What's in the future? Not sure. Some things I want to be there. A few that I try to bring to life now, but, man, I just know they'll be here later.
Conflicted.
The thing is, to every positive, there is a negative. That's true. It's science, k? It's balance, right? Yeah.
So, I will keep being passionate about whatever is in my life even of it may seem borderline obsessive. The things that matter most are the best with passion.
Afterall, that is so Scorpio of me to do...