mirrors.

Hey, so, I finally went on vacation. It's always refreshing to pretend for a moment that you live a luxury life and avoid all reality. Cause that's what I did.
Nikki can attest to the fact that I turn into a giddy little girl at the very sight of water and sand, add a trashy book/magazines and beer to the mix and you've uncovered my happy place. Not a care in the world in this little blonde head.
I'm always reminded that I have to live at the beach. My goal is to retire at 30 and just sit and stare at it until I can't see it anymore. I do wonder, however, if it is possible to take it for granted when it becomes your every day, but I can't quite come up with any way that could be true.
My only dose of reality was delivered by a couple who sat under the umbrella to our left. Here we all were in my happiest place on earth and she sat hiding under the umbrella with her iPhone inches away from her face taking pissy calls from work as her boyfriend tried to lighten her mood. She was so uptight and on edge and it frustrated the hell out of me.
I wondered how a girl like that could get a guy like him and how dumb she was to not realize what she had right in front of her, both the guy and the beach. She was short and whiny with him and made it so easy to judge her as I turned the page and cracked open another beer and ordered a Bloody Mary around noon.
I made a secret vow to never be like that, though, if I'm honest with myself (and I've gotten pretty good at that) I know that I've been her before. As hard as it is to believe you can take things you have for granted we do and maybe that even includes the beach. Maybe.
I wanted so bad to be that stranger's wake up call. To put a mirror up to her so she could see all the things she was missing because her iPhone was the only thing in her line of sight. But, I realized maybe she was mine? Maybe she was a reflection of who I used to be? My iPhone was stowed away except for when I used it to soundtrack our day and I banished all thoughts of work because I mean really there's nothing I can do almost 1,000 miles away. I've taken relationships for granted for sure. Not seeing who was sitting next to me for all of the good they're bringing into my life, just blinded by the things they aren't and, most likely, weren't really capable of. Unrealistic expectations derived from what I thought love and life and boyfriends should be.
So easy to sit on that high horse isn't it? But, for real, I've had a lot of time to think (and over think) who I was and who I am and who I want to be and I'm happy to say that even though I haven't been in a relationship in some time, I can see through my friendships that I'm not the distracted, self-absorbed friend I used to be. And, unfortunately, sometimes it takes losing a few things (like your mind, for one) to realize it when you finally look in the mirror and take in everything standing before you.