catch me.

There are some people who may think I'm ridiculous for truly wanting to live in my hometown again. I mean, I know there are. However, the one thing that made me long to come home was my family.
(sister, just stop reading now.)
As mentioned previously several times, I went through a bit of a rough patch for a little while and the only people who really knew it were my family. All of them had really encouraging, supportive, loving words to share with me in some of my darkest moments between my sobs on the telephone.
There was this one time my brother-in-law came to town for some business and we had dinner. The first time he and I had ever truly spent time together alone. I mean, two of the people who work for him were with us, but they barely spoke English and once he helped them navigate the Outback menu, he had one of the most honest conversations with me some one I really didn't think knew me all that well had ever had and though he might not remember it, it has always stuck with me.
He told me some things I didn't really want to hear because I knew they were true and it shocked me that he saw it, but he also shared how important I was to him and my sister. I thought about that conversation tonight while at their house and almost reached over to let him read my palm because everything he said that evening is exactly how it turned out to be.
The best one though was that he told me my sister needed me. Her and I, we've had our ups and downs as siblings usually do and I'm almost certain we'll have a few more rounds, but the absolute best part of me living here is that we have gotten so close. She's been there for me through some really difficult things, but she's also been there to celebrate my successes. I've been there for her best and worst, too, but most importantly for me, I've gotten to watch my sister become a mother. She has never looked better or been happier than she has been this last year or so. She's growing and changing in so many ways and it is all for the better.
We had lunch a few days ago and her eyes welled up with tears (a pretty common occurrence these days) as she apologized for everything being about her lately. Are you kidding? I've never been one to crave all eyes on me, don't let the fact that I choose to write only about myself fool you. I prefer to be the observer, to soak it all in and it has been one of the best experiences ever to stand on the side lines for this. I'll have my moments. I don't know when, but they'll make their way on the calendar eventually and I know she'll be the one throwing parties and helping me through each one of them. Only now that we're older, a little more confident in the very different paths we've both chosen, It will all be even better.
While I know we've both envied each other for different reasons from time to time, I love that after following such a treacherous path, she is now on one that is filled with the best there is with someone who loves her and for all of her. Someone who loves her so much, he loves me so much that I'm just his sister to him (as creepy as it could sound to someone who doesn't really know. He's stepped up the creepy factor by now calling me a sister wife ha!).
Tonight as we were having dinner, I was little blinded by a new ring on her hand and made the comment about how he's set the bar pretty high for any man that may come into my life and he later told me he's going to keep raising it and hopes one day he gets put to shame because that's what I deserve. That's amazing. It's incredible that someone I have known for less than a handful of years genuinely wants the absolute best for me and has helped me get more than I ever would've asked for.
The excitement I have for watching this new chapter unfold in just a matter of weeks is overwhelming. I can't wait to love that baby. And I may never be able to repay them for what they've given me, I will for sure try to match it with my love for that little boy, my brother and my sister.
I've never doubted my decision to move here for a second and if my happiness isn't enough proof I've made the right choice then I don't know what is. The thing is, I know not everyone has a family that truly believes in you and has your back and I know I'm so lucky that I do. Sure, we've got our problems. But there was this one time I felt like I was falling and didn't think anyone would be there to catch me, they were. Always have been. Always will.