her.

A while ago someone asked me why moving to Houston was so good for me. I was taking a swig of beer and without hesitation I said "because I don't know anyone here." It was probably the most honest answer I've ever given and absolutely true. Sure, I've loved discovering new places, meeting new people, being able to drive down the street on a Tuesday and see one of my favorite bands play, taking my exit off the freeway and seeing a huge city skyline smiling back at me, all of those things, too. But, mostly the answer I gave him. 

It's not that I don't know amazing people or miss them always, it's just that sometimes it's really difficult to evolve or allow yourself to be a little different or who you feel you really are when you're surrounded by people who have always "known" you. I didn't realize that's why I was struggling in Shreveport until I had the opportunity to just show up to people who don't know anything about me except for what I've shown them. And, it hasn't been a reinvented or edited version of myself, I've kept it real and it has been so freeing. 

It's a powerful place to be and I was the only one who was really holding myself back from being here. I've put so much pressure on myself to be so many things but myself that at times I've myself. In rediscovering who I really am, I've found that that's all I ever really needed to be. 

I turned 30 a few months ago and I was so ready to turn that corner. It felt like I earned a badge of honor to have made it through my 20s. I spent the eve of my new decade surrounded by some of the most important people from that time. I may have been a little scared to wake up the next day and be hit with a ton of "what am I doing with my life?" thoughts, but I didn't. I woke up next to one of those friends and walked downstairs to another. Nothing had changed and I didn't need it to. 

As I said good byes and headed back to my city, one of those friends said "I love how you bring people together." It's probably the best and biggest compliment I've been given in a long time. A few weeks earlier I said goodbye to a friend I made in my early 20s and as I reminisced with other old friends I realized I may never have known them if it weren't for him. Because he brought people together. 

In this last year of my 20s, in a new city, feeling my new found freedom to just be me and being brought back to life by not knowing anyone, if I learned anything through the losses and distance- it's that people are the most important. And my people have been there a long time and probably have always liked the real, unedited version the best anyway. So, I'll keep on being her wherever I go.