notifications.

As addicted as I am to my iPhone (made painfully clear after it was stolen and I realized it was like I was missing my right hand), I'm beginning to wonder if it's more like a thorn in my side I keep digging at.
By that I mean, I'm constantly checking all forms of social networks, emails, texts and googling any thing I possibly question so I can immediately have the answers. It's the only thing that shares my bed with me these days. It's the last thing I look at before I go to sleep and the first when I wake up.
I know what's going on in the lives of people I really shouldn't know about anymore. Sometimes it's a hysterical shit show, others like a train derailing. I wondered the other day if I didn't have such a living breathing connection to almost anyone I've ever known how would I hear about the scandals, gossip and other events. Would I get a letter in the mail saying, "I don't know if you want to know, but I heard ...." and would it be more eloquent? Easier to swallow? I wouldn't have the means to investigate, I'd just have their word for it, I wouldn't have to dive in to the pile of shit that's really none of my business anymore. If we were still relying on the mail, I'm sure we'd have much more important things to talk about than trashy hook ups anyway. I hope? (not to mention I may not be as unnerved about the destruction of the English language. I mean, doesn't it take more effort to spell things in such a bullshit way anyway?)
I could sit here and say, I don't want to know, so don't tell me. But I've developed such a destructive appetite for it now.
A few days ago, I friend was confiding in some of their not so proudest moments and I told them I wasn't judging because I've been there and done worse and realized, really, no one knows those things except for the people I shamefully shared those moments with. And, I wondered how I managed that then, but now, it somehow feels so natural for me to broadcast it? Granted, I still go quiet when I'm trying to stomach myself, but I've also been a lot more forthcoming with these tragic details.
But, then, what it really comes down to, is that I'm still invested in and part of people's lives I truly care about literally all over the world. I get to celebrate daily triumphs with them and know when they're hurting, too. I just have to narrow my sites in on that group of people that genuinely share that same care for me, too and stop rubbing my own nose in the matters of people who clearly don't give a shit about me anymore.
I've become more aware of that line lately. More accepting of the past being the past and knowing its time to move on and that person has made their exit from my life (or I've pushed them out, either way). Wouldn't I be happier when I stop stacking up my success (or lack of) to those who were never really on my playing field anyway? I think so.
So, I'm working on quitting you. Focusing on the things and people that are in my life for a good reason and looking the other way from the ones who aren't for better reasons.