anything could happen.

I'm struggling, y'all.
I've got all if these thoughts, feelings and things swirling around in my head and I just can't seem to be able to find them an escape route through my mouth or my finger tips.
I guess it could almost be considered writer's block, but it feels like so much more than that. It's all just on total lock down, but also not. I'll say it to almost anyone I know will lock it up and throw away the key except for the one it would matter to most.
And everyone's tired of hearing about it.
Here's what I've learned: I have some really patient and supportive friends. It's gotta be wearing thin though. The patience part, I mean. Conversations are now becoming more like "Cute. K. So when are you going to do something about it.." Which is the supportive part really.
This week's New Girl episode kind of caught me off guard. Wrapped up in hilarity and unexpected...hotness was this moment Nick had with his father under fucked up circumstances, mind you, but still, he said, "You think too much. You think too much about everything... You don't have to do anything that you don't wanna do, I just don't want you to miss out on things in life that are happening when you're not thinking because believe you me, those, are the best things in life." Thanks, Pop Pop.
That's what I was talking about last time and I'm still trying to process it all. Being impulsive just ain't something I'm finding in my blood. I clam up. And, like, literally, too. I let you be the brave one even though I'm the one always saying "be courageous." Just sitting here holding my breath.
Anything could happen. It might not end up like the fairy tale that's playing out in my head on constant rotation, but I don't know that it's been medically proven that anyone has ever died from embarrassment and I'm not googling it to find out.