ocean breathes salty

It never fails, every time I'm able to spend even the tiniest bit of time with true friends, it is like an instant re-charge and gets me through. I've been making that happen for myself a little bit more lately. Something so simple as developing rosy cheeks at happy hour or so big as sitting in the ocean at 4 a.m. or so small as a little chat that leads to a big conversation. It all just feels right. In those moments, all is right.
The other night, when I was in the ocean. Laughing, rocking back and forth, without a care in the world, I got a bit overwhelmed. (Typical). The very beach I built sand castles at as a child seeing the wonder of not seeing an end to the big world out there, there I was with three one-time strangers I never would've guessed would continue to be in my life in whatever context they're in.
It felt kind of small that night. Pitch black. Shuffling along the bottom not knowing when it would drop. That's kind of the difference between then and now. For me, anyway.
At first, I cared. What if (insert something silly, but also kinda possible here i.e. stingray) is out here? We can't see shit.
"Oh, well," one of them says, "Could be a cool story."
"I'll grab a flashlight so we can try to see," says another.
"Nope. Can't see shit."
"Oh, well."
"Let's go."
"It's just water," says the other. "Get in it."
And, I did.
I sat there, swaying with the waves, and soaked it all in. Lived up every drop of this delicious moment. And felt this overwhelming surge of this is really what it's all about. Just going for it. Being open to all possibilities, even if they could have a scary outcome.
I've just got this fear right in my gut. Fear of going out there. I can't see just where I'm going so I'm just gonna sit here until the sun comes up. Fear of taking that first step because somebody out there is gonna hurt me, I just know it. And, that is true. It does happen. But, I'm kinda feeling like that risk is just a part of the rush.
And, I mean, really, how many times have you heard of someone dying from a sting ray?
(No offense, Steve.)

this was actually the song that was in my head that night:

"Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so.

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.

The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I hope so.

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. (You get away from me) You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. (I had to think awhile) I had to think awhile.

Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky. (You missed, you missed)
You missed when time and life shook hands and said goodbye. (You missed)
When the earth folded in on itself. (You missed)
And said "Good luck, for your sake I hope heaven and hell (You missed, you missed)
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath." (You missed, you missed)
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death? (You missed, you missed)
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?

The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
The more we move ahead the more we're stuck in rewind.
Well I don't mind. I don't mind. How the hell could I mind?

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. (You get away from me) You get away from me.

Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky. (You missed, you missed)
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?"