it's time.

How long have I been quoting "Lover's Spit"? Um, since about 5 seconds after I heard the song for the first time. But, "you know, it's time that we grow old and do some shit" has really taken root finally.

You're welcome for attaching the vid to my thought. Take a moment if you need.
I've had a lot of conversation with friends the past couple of weeks that have made me realize that made me realize I am so ready to grow up, maybe I already have? I have held on so tightly to all of those things I thought I would have done or be doing by now, but have now begun to actually believe that I am. I have some living left to do for sure, and I'm starting to, but it's OK to be grown up about things and do what you gotta do to get where you wanna go.
We're gonna be challenged. There will be forks, y'all. Big decisions, hard ones, too. Sometimes we might not have a say. But, it's happening for a reason. Others it's all on you. If you're unhappy, most of the time you can change it. (who would've thought?) It might take a while. Sometimes it can happen overnight if you concentrate hard enough. One day those crutches you've been relying on for so long can be tossed aside. Wounds heal. (if you stop reopening them.)
I'm going to be honest, I'm sorry. I must have been so miserable to be around the past few years. Never satisfied. Totally closed off. Bitter. Bitchy. (I'm still bitchy, but maybe just in a sassy way? Maybe?) Hopeless. Negative. I can be all of those things still, sometimes at the same time, but the point is, it doesn't stick around for long. Thank you for sticking around for the storm to pass. It was indeed a depression. The cloud's are clearing, the sun's shining, shit's starting to grow.
In an interview I read with Jeff Tweedy says what I'm trying to so I'm just going to let him do it. When asked about the album art for "Sky Blue Sky" this was his response:

"What I see is a very violent image. There's so much energy and chaos. You can look at it several ways. One way would be: this is nature, how do people survive? They stay together. It's the starlings' only defense. You can look at it like a frozen moment of complete chaos. What people do so much--and what the record is getting at--is that people have trouble seeing past that chaos to the blue sky that's always there, even when it's cloudy. Speaking from my own experience, that's the part that gets very upsetting, debilitating and frustrating about depression. You know it's there, but you don't have access to it. In a lot of ways, that image says to me, 'This too shall pass," You can find that blue sky if you want."

That's my view right now. Look at that sky blue sky breaking through.