Thursday, February 2, 2012

baptized in change.

It is kind of fitting that I've worked in retail selling bubbles and smell goods for almost 7 years now (can you believe that shit?). Other than the fact that I can admit to being a beauty product junkie and hoarder of all things that smell lovely, the (pretty much) daily ritual of bathing is, most of the time, pretty cathartic for me. It's the chance to literally wash it all away and that's what I think about. I select the product that I want to leave on my skin that kind of sets the tone for how I need to feel. I rinse off the past and prepare for what's next. Even if it's just work or staying home all day or getting ready for bed, it's this little meditation for me.
When I went through my pro-longed and recently revisited bright eyes phase a lyric always stuck in my head during this moment,
"It was in a foreign hotel's bathtub
I baptized myself in change
And one by one I drowned all of the people I had been
I emerged to find the parallels were fewer
I was cleansed
I looked in the mirror and someone new was there"
Every day, every bubble bath, every quick shower can be a chance to start over. And tomorrow I may be in the same place still, but I can try and I can feel better about it. It's about actually taking time to just stop. To feel something different. To watch it wash away down the drain.

(p.s. I wrote this before I took a shower just now. Sigur ros came on as I was rinsing. Kind of a religious experience, y'all. I'm serious about all of this. Tub time means business.)

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