The VD.

So, let me preface this statement by letting you know, I'm really not one of those girls who is bitter on valentine's day because I'm single. And, for the record, I do have a valentine, two actually, one is kind of imaginary and doesn't know he's my valentine and future boyfriend, the other is my best bitch who's coming to spend the night with me on v-day. (that's love, isn't it?) That being said, I'm kind of an insider on man shopping for this day as my work is kind of just as generic as a box of chocs and some roses and, I'm sorry ladies, based on my observations 90% of dudes do not give a shit what ends up in that red bag on February 14th.
It is so frustrating for me because I genuinely do enjoy helping people find gifts that whomever is getting them will really love and it really pisses me off when a man comes in and just says, "I really don't care, what can I get for $50? And make it fast, I'm on my lunch break."
Now, most people in my situation would love this because it's super easy to sell the shit out of things as long as the only effort that's asked is the handing over of cash, but it is just so disheartening. Don't you guys know that you're kind of like our Easter bunny, Santa and all other mythical gift giving creatures now? We truly want to believe that you racked your brain searching for the perfect gift for us and you went all out on it and omg it means so much! Well, sorry ladies, for most of us it just isn't true all of the time. I'm not saying they don't exist and I'll even admit the ones who do probably don't shop at my store unless they're looking for massage oil (barf), but the point is, ladies in love just believe in so many magical things, don't ruin it for yourself and all of mankind.
So, guys, if it's ok with the ladies I'm gonna speak for (most of) us. We don't give a shit how much it costs or where it's from just as long as you thought about it (and when we admit it to ourselves, we know the truth). We really do know the difference. And, as for you ladies, don't let your dudes get away with it unless the bubble bath I picked out for you because it was the closest one to me really is your favorite and you're cool with that. But, what do I know? Maybe I'm not like most girls? (another common misconception.)
Find me a lady who wouldn't love to wake up to a sweet little note and coffee ready? Or, or flowers that aren't obnoxious red roses? I'm gonna stop revealing my secret wishes in case my imaginary valentine/ future boyfriend stumbles upon this because, dammit, it's his job to figure it out. That's not to say we don't secretly hope a bouquet of flowers will be delivered by surprise to us at work so all of the other ladies can be jealous or want that box of chocs around for our next Ryan Gosling marathon, just not every time, dude. Change it up.
As for me, I'm gonna pass out my glee valentines and then get shit faced with my girl squirrel and have sweet dreams of my imaginary love and that's alright with me. At least this year. Gotta change it up.